


always with me

by silveryyy



Series: Amasai Week 2020 [5]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Amasai Week, Amasai Week 2020, Fluff, M/M, Yayy!, amasai, but he has a reincarnation!, happy ending/sad ending, sorry rantaro's still dead, very questionable ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:14:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23249794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveryyy/pseuds/silveryyy
Summary: Snow is falling from the sky as the ever cold and unforgiving wind whips around Shuichi with its iced daggers and snowy blades, beating relentlessly at his face, and he holds his coat closer as his scarf spins around, tossed by the wind. Despite the cold it brings, the snowflakes are graceful, twirling in an elegant dance as they land, covering the cobblestones on the pavement, leaving piles of alabaster fluffiness on the sides of the road: it leaps everywhere, coating the roofs and falling onto Shuichi’s hands. He shivers from the contact- it’s freezing cold, and he’s not wearing gloves- but he smiles at the serenity of the moment nonetheless. It’s cliche, but he likes watching the snow fall. There’s something mesmerizing about how the droplets of softened ice sway to the rondo of the wind, how they fall almost uniformly but there’s a natural irregularity to it that makes it ever so interesting to watch.Then, the doorbell is finally answered. The doors creak open as Shuichi looks over, and lets a smile spread across his face as Sora opens the door.-"it's you, i just know you'll make it throughlook ahead, do all you can do!" -otsukimi recitalshuichi tells his godson a story.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Amasai Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664734
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	always with me

**Author's Note:**

> written for amasai week day 6, hosted by @storyflight and @toxicpineapple! prompt was happy ending/sad ending and i tried to incorporate both! i went more into the theoretics of the term 'ending' lmao anyways another more narrative piece :DDD i hope y'all still like it tho! i would have made it more descriptive as normal if i had more time, but,,,,
> 
> anyways there's a weird ship i added just for the sake of having more kaede content bc she's been pretty nonexistent in this series :((( sorry kaede

Shuichi’s hand lingers on the doorbell as he waits for someone to answer. 

The mansion is huge, and as big as the family is, there are only two maids, so it takes quite some time until anyone comes to open the door. It’s quiet all around- the house is in the suburb areas of Sapporo, and not many people of similar status come out at night. At this time of the night, Shuichi is the only one on these streets, alone. 

Moonlight smiles down at him, like a gossamer veil of pearl-like periwinkle silk hanging over the area, stray strands of the light winding around the lamp posts and illuminating the rooftops of the mansions. It casts a soft ivory sheen over the greenery lining the streets, the daisies shining a lilac colour as Night’s onyx cloak of darkness attempts to camouflage it. The tar-like fog of Night reaches towards Shuichi, clouds of billowing obsidian mist flooding towards him, starting to fill him with anxiety and doubt, but he’s barely affected- he knows that his best friend is always with him no matter what, and the thought alone comforts him and strengthens him against the attacks of darkness.

Snow is falling from the sky as the ever cold and unforgiving wind whips around Shuichi with its iced daggers and snowy blades, beating relentlessly at his face, and he holds his coat closer as his scarf spins around, tossed by the wind. Despite the cold it brings, the snowflakes are graceful, twirling in an elegant dance as they land lightly on the flowers, on the grass, covering the cobblestones on the pavement, leaving piles of alabaster fluffiness on the sides of the road: it leaps everywhere, coating the roofs and falling, like dimmed meteors, the spears of the stars, onto Shuichi’s hands. He shivers from the contact- it’s freezing cold, and he’s not wearing gloves- but he smiles at the serenity of the moment nonetheless. It’s cliche, but he likes watching the snow fall. There’s something mesmerizing about how the droplets of softened ice sway to the rondo of the wind, how they fall almost uniformly but there’s a natural irregularity to it that makes it ever so interesting to watch. People normally think of snow as something beautiful and soft and lovely until they come into contact with it and dismiss it as annoying, but Shuichi doesn’t. He just loves it, loves the silence it seems to naturally bring, loves the tranquility of its nature. 

There’s a poem he really likes, _Quieter than Snow_ , by Bertie Dorherty, that he heard when he was in school. It’s a poem he always thinks about when he sees snow (which is rather often after he moved to Sapporo), even though he knows the poem isn’t actually about snow and is actually rather eerie. He’s never been much of a literature person, being more of a science kid than language, but Kaede, and surprisingly Maki both studied the subject as an elective, and the latter taught him the poem during one of their study sessions with Kaito. It’s somewhat creepy, in his opinion, and sends shivers down his spine, but it’s beautifully written, portrays silence and the strange feelings of feeling alone in somewhere that shouldn’t be, perfectly. The same silence always comes with the falling of snow, and even though Shuichi knows snow absorbs sound and that’s why everything seems so quiet around it, he can’t help but think of the poem.

It takes two minutes until the doorbell is answered. The oakwood doors creak open as Shuichi looks over, and lets a smile spread across his face as Sora opens the door, her face lighting up along with the porch, which is immediately submerged in the light streaming out from the entrance hall.

“Shuichi!” the young woman exclaims, and walks forward to pull the man inside. “We’ve been waiting for you! Sorry it took so long and sorry for leaving you in the cold, Akira was crying and everyone was fussing over her and all…”

“It’s no problem,” the man assures her, and her face relaxes. Shuichi changes into his indoor shoes- he smiles as he sees the shoes with his name clipped on them. He doesn’t live here with Rantaro’s sisters, but he’s over so often that they’ve prepared everything for him in case he drops over anytime.

“Everyone else is in the living room, I think, you’ll probably find whoever you’re looking for there.” Sora smiles at him, and then disappears into a corridor, no doubt off to the sewing room- Shuichi remembers Rantaro describing her as the most creative person he knew, and Shuichi completely agrees. Sora is an avid fan of textiles and sewing, and works as a fashion designer- she’s rather famous here in Japan, actually, and her designs are always popular. He’s seen some of them himself, and found himself extremely impressed- it’s like she weaves her outfits out of strands of moonlight and threads of sunlight. Naoko told him once that she recognized the necklace he wears upon seeing him because of the string the sea glass is strung on, and that it’s one of Sora’s special designs, woven out of the finest silks into a durable pearl-coloured string, and simply was irreplicable. 

Despite how large the mansion is- Shuichi finds himself constantly surprised with the vastness of the Amami fortune no matter how many times he’s seen it in action- he’s been around enough times to know his way around. He finds his way to the living room easily, knocking lightly on the oak doors.

This time, his call is answered fairly quickly. The doors open to someone throwing their arms around him tightly. “Shuichi! We’ve been waiting for you!”

“Minori,” he smiles as he greets Rantaro’s youngest sister, the girl a whole eight years younger than he is. She was three when she was lost, according to Rantaro, and was only found four and a half years ago when she was sixteen. She’s an adult now, and Shuichi feels a pang of guilt in his stomach for not finding her earlier, but he pushes the thought away. “It’s great to see you, too.”

The teenage girl smiles happily as she releases him, and lets him into the room. The living room is vast, with dark chocolate coloured glossy floorboards, and beige pillars with gold swirled in them extend to the tall ceiling metres above him, arching to the middle of the ceiling. On the ceiling itself is a mural of the night sky and all the constellations, which glow in the dark when the lights are off, and a large light shaped like the solar system dangles from it. Further down the room, a carpeted spiral staircase, its handles painted gold and embedded with topaz stones that fracture the light and project tiny rainbows everywhere, leads up to a balcony overlooking the living room, connecting a few rooms together. It’s a gorgeous design, and even if Shuichi’s been here many times over the years since he’s found half of the siblings, which was when this mansion was bought, he still marvels at it every single time.

Rantaro’s sisters are scattered all over the room. In the middle, Ena and Akari are pouring over some drawings as Akari, ever the artist, adds small details to a painting, and in one corner of the room, Hanako is playing Mario Kart with Shiori and Inori on a large screen, and Shuichi watches, smiling, as Shiori crosses the finish line first, letting out a cheer, and her eyes turn to him. She laughs as she waves at him, and calls for her youngest biological sister, who is still behind Shuichi. Minori gives Shuichi’s hand a squeeze before she heads on over to her two biological sisters, who welcome her with hugs, and her second oldest sister. In another corner, Yuki is lounging on the bean bag chairs in the reading corner, back against the shelves overflowing with books, a pile of novels on the ground next to her, and typing away on her computer- Yuki’s a writer and poet, and Shuichi likes talking to her about plots and stories, and her books are always really beautifully written and interesting. She’s talking to Naoko as she types, and the other girl is finally smiling and laughing again, like Rantaro told him she did when she was small. The young woman had been through countless hardships and was even forced to help with numerous kidnappings, and it’d taken them ages to persuade her to come back to Japan. Initially she’d refused, and Shuichi and Amaka were forced to leave without her, but two months later, she’d appeared on the mansion’s doorstep, seeking refuge after deserting her slavers. Amaka had taken her in without a single moment of hesitation, and Shuichi was beyond relieved it had worked out okay. Naoko’s now studying translation, and she’s truly talented in the subject- Shuichi finds himself constantly impressed by her ability to speak fluently in so many different languages.

He’s an only child, Shuichi is, but being with Rantaro’s sister lets him in on the feeling of being an older brother to these lovely young women. They seem to treat him like an older brother too, and even though Shuichi wouldn’t dream of ever replacing Rantaro (and he’s sure the girls won’t either), he feels welcome with them. Like they’re family. Akari calls Shuichi her brother in law, and so do a couple of the others, and even though Shuichi feels vaguely uncomfortable with it- after all, he never had the chance to confess to Rantaro when he was alive- but he grows used to it after a while. 

Some of Rantaro’s sister, like Ena and Hanako, aren’t always home- they stay in where they were lost for half the year or so, reunite with the family they built there while lost, so Shuichi especially enjoys and cherishes these times when they’re all home and the family is (almost) complete. It’s also why he loves the autumn and winter seasons so much- it gives him time to spend with his newfound family. He spends as much time as he can spare with them, gives them what they want, does everything he can for them, for Rantaro’s sake, for their brother who never got the chance to reunite with all of them.

“Shuichi!” he turns to see Kaede appearing at the top of the staircase, her signature bright smile on her face as she rushes downstairs and forward. He does the same, and they meet each other in the middle, Kaede reaching to embrace her childhood friend, the closest thing she ever had to a brother in her childhood days, and vice versa. 

He’s always found it rather interesting and surprising that Kaede found love in one of Rantaro’s sisters- Amaka, in fact, who’s probably in one of the children’s rooms right now (probably Akira’s , their adopted daughter). It’s like fate always meant for Rantaro and Shuichi to become family, in one way or another. He remembers Rantaro telling him the meaning of the name ‘Amaka’- heaven’s song, and that’s probably what she is to Kaede, who’s a pianist and adores music. She loves her wife a lot, after all- that much is evident, by how Kaede’s eyes light up at the mere sight of Amaka, how she caters to her every need, how she looks at her wife with nothing but adoration.

“Kaede,” he greets her. “What did you call me here for? It’s past nine already.” 

She frowns a little, and gestures at one of the rooms that connect to the balcony. “Your godson wanted to see you. He’s refusing to sleep until you come by.”

Shuichi sighs, but a smile is on his lips. He loves his godson, adores spending time with him. He isn’t surprised this happened, actually- with his mother, Rina, off on a week-long exchange trip to Korea (she’s a teacher in a primary school) and his father accompanying her, and his mother’s twin Riku staying the night at her girlfriend’s, the three year old’s bound to feel scared. He gestures to Kaede to leave it to him, and as Kaede beams and thanks him before heading up to her daughter’s room, he makes his way towards the one of the far left, with its door ajar.

He knocks, and enters his godson’s room. It’s painted baby blue, and photos are hung all over one of the walls, of different countries and the young boy’s twelve aunts, and a few of Shuichi and Kaede and Rantaro. Toys are littered all over the floor, and a white bookcase is built up against one of the corners of the room.

The small boy is curled up in a nest of pillows and blankets, and as Shuichi enters, he looks up, and his face brightens. “Shuichi!” he says in greeting, and he sits down on the bed, smiling.

“Hey, Taro,” he strokes his godson’s hair softly. It was incredibly sweet of Rina to name her son after her deceased brother, and even sweeter of her husband and her to name Shuichi godfather when small Rantaro was born. The boy has his mother’s silky blonde hair that looked just like the manifestation of sunlight, and the cerulean blue eyes Shuichi found ever so familiar (Riku and Rina has the exact same eyes), and even though he doesn’t look like his namesake, Shuichi can see the Rantaro he knew in the young boy, in his quiet thoughtfulness and love of adventure, and Shuichi loves him for who he is. He knows, that up above, in Heaven, Rantaro’s looking down on this child, and smiling.

“I don’t wanna sleep,” the boy says, and Shuichi can see the terror in his eyes, the fear he carries of sleeping without his parents by his side for the first time ever. “I _can’t_ sleep, not without Oka-san here, Shuichi, I want her here with me-”

Shuichi ruffles Rantaro’s hair as he says soothingly, “You know your mother can’t be here with you tonight, Taro… she’ll be back very soon. You know, she’s probably looking at the sky right now, where she is, and wondering if you’re asleep yet, worrying if you’re too scared to sleep alone, or if you miss her too much. Your mother loves you a lot, you know that.”

Rantaro’s cerulean eyes are large, and beautiful, as if they hold miles and miles of oceans in them, but at this moment the waters inside are wild and rogue, waves splashing and crashing down from high up, and they look into Shuichi’s desperately as he leans into his godfather and hugs him tightly. Shuichi hugs back, trying the best he can to comfort the terrified boy.

At last, Rantaro says, his voice muffled by Shuichi’s clothes, “Shuichi, tell me a story.”

He complies, starting to rise to get a storybook from the bookshelf, but Rantaro clutches onto him tightly. “Taro, I can’t get a book if you don’t let go,” he tells the boy softly, but the three year old still holds on tight.

“I don’t want just any other story, Shuichi, I’ve heard most of those books before,” he says, “you read them to me, remember? I want a story about you. About- about Uncle Rantaro.”

Shuichi widens his eyes in surprise, but he smiles, giving in to his godson’s request. He finds himself talking about Rantaro (the one who is his best friend) and him meeting, laughing slightly when he reaches the point where Rantaro waited for him for the entire night just to apologize for something his _father_ did; he talks about how they met up every week at the coffee shop, how they had unintentionally gotten into the same secondary school; he talks about their trips to find Rantaro’s sisters, about his first kiss, about the one time they succeeded and brought Rina home; he finds himself smiling bitterly as he goes onto talking about how Rantaro had died saving Rina in the bus crash, laughing briefly at how he shut himself in, and he tells his godson about how he found his closure. But most of all, he talks about Rantaro as a person, and as he talks he sees his best friend in his mind, with his comforting smile, the constant sadness present in his pretty lemongrass eyes, his windswept, tousled hair, and how he was always so selfless and kind and caring. He finds himself unable to stop a tear from rolling down his cheek as he tells small Rantaro how his namesake cared for his sisters, for everyone around him, and tiny Rantaro listens attentively, engrossed in Shuichi’s stories.

“He died so your mother, and you, could live,” Shuichi tells the boy. “He’d be so happy to see you living today, he’s probably smiling down at you and watching everything you do. He’s always with me, and he’s always with you.”

Rantaro (the young boy, that is) is silent for a moment, and then he says, “why’s the ending so sad?”

Shuichi’s caught off guard, “Huh?”

“Why couldn’t Uncle Rantaro have lived?” the boy asks. “Why did he have to die in the end and make everyone so sad? Why can’t he and you just, I don’t know, live happily ever after?”

Shuichi laughs a little as he pats his godson on the head lightly. “Rantaro, but it _is_ a happy ending.”

The three year old tilts his head, confused, “But he died! You were so upset, and Oka-san was upset, and everyone was sad over it…”

“Happy endings come in all shapes and sizes,” Shuichi says quietly. “Rantaro may have died and left us, but he died protecting his sister, one of the people he loved most. He died protecting your mother, and you, and he achieved his purpose perfectly- look, you and your mother are leading a life that’s full of happiness, see? Your Uncle Rantaro would’ve been so happy if he was here now. Besides, his greatest wish was to find all his sisters, and even if he died before he could see everyone back, they’re all safe and sound now, aren’t they? His death isn’t the end of the story, just the part that shocked everyone, the plot twist that makes the story worth reading. We’re living out the end of the story now. We’re living out his happy ending.”

Shuichi touches the sea glass around his neck. He doesn’t need it anymore, not now, for now, he’s finally letting go, letting the guilt and grief and everything stay in the past. His memories of him are dear, and are important to Shuichi, but Shuichi now knows, now realizes, that he doesn’t need the sea glass to prove to him that Rantaro is there with him.

Because Rantaro isn’t only in the sea glass. He’s everywhere, in his sisters’ smiles and laughter, he’s there in Shuichi’s happiness and there to guide him when times are rough. Rantaro is in his heart, a lamp to guide his way in the dark, the path of moonlight on the sea so Shuichi can pass through safely. Rantaro is there with Shuichi no matter what.

He hesitates, and then unfastens the necklace around his neck. Reaching out to take his godson’s hand, he puts it there and closes his hand gently. “Take this, Rantaro. It belonged to your uncle, to someone I loved very much, and when I was wearing it, I felt his presence with me, and it comforted me and gave me strength when I needed it. But now, it’s time to pass this on. Put it on, and your uncle will always be with you, and he’ll guide your path when you need help, and you’ll never be alone. Remember, when you touch this, that you aren’t alone, and you have me, and your mother and father, and all your aunts.”

Rantaro looks at the necklace, seemingly touched, and he looks up at Shuichi. “Could you help me put it on?” he murmurs, and Shuichi smiles, taking it and easily clasping it around Rantaro’s neck.

“Now go to sleep,” he tells his godson, who smiles and nods.

He stays there after he turns the lights off, watches his godson drift off into the land of dreams, and places his hand over where the sea glass used to be. It feels strangely empty, without the necklace he’d worn for years, but Shuichi’s no longer afraid of the dark. 

“You’re much braver than I remembered,” a voice whispers from the doorway, and Shuichi turns to see Kaede standing there with a smile on her face. “I’m proud of you, and Rantaro would be, too.”

Shuichi stands, and walks out to meet Kaede. They stand on the balcony, overlooking Rantaro’s sisters living out the childhood they lost with each other. “I’m just doing what Rantaro would’ve wanted me to do,” he says. “I’ve found all of his sisters, brought them all home, finished his last wish. Rantaro wouldn’t have wanted me to be stuck in the past, or to never move on after his death. He’d want me to live his ‘happily ever after’ for him, and that’s what I'm doing now.”

Kaede laughs. “And to think that this is the same person who yelled at me when I tried to get him to move on all those years ago,” she teases him. 

“Hey! I was busy being traumatized back then!” he protests, and Kaede ruffles his hair as he ducks away, laughing.

He looks out over the handrails again, and can’t help but smile at the sight of Rantaro’s sisters- _his_ sisters- as they mingle, and _live_ , and write out their own happy endings. They were all once lost, torn apart by fate, but they all rewrote their destinies and managed to reunite.

Now, it’s Shuichi’s turn to rewrite his destiny, to live out his happy ending for Rantaro. He touches the spot where the necklace used to be again, and smiles,

and knows in his heart that Rantaro will always watch over him.

**Author's Note:**

> alternative story plot:
> 
> kaede: hey shu your godson doesn't want to sleep because his mother is away
> 
> shuichi: ....have you tried actually calling his mother so she can talk to him over the phone
> 
> (jkjk there would be no story to tell then
> 
> (this is actually what my best friend, Ice, told me when i told her the plot, she was like "dude arisa wth this whole fic was so unnecessary" lmao
> 
> anyways!!! this is the the final installment of this series of "shuichi deals with rantaro's death"! it started with sea glass where shuichi accepts rantaro's passing, then two flashbacks, then one where shuichi is moving on without letting himself let go, and finally this one, where he completely lets go! i hope this was a good enough ending to the series, it took the soul out of me lol i can't fluff. this week might have given you an illusion that i occasionally write it, but nope! after this you'll probably never ever see me write fluff again unless in special occasions.
> 
> not gonna post anything here tomorrow, because i did some calligraphy for the last day, and it'll be on my tumblr, so let me just express my gratitude to story and toxic for hosting this amazing week! if you all didn't know, my school has been suspended since end of january because of the coronavirus, and i've been really lonely at home, and since i don't get along with my parents, it's been driving me insane facing them all the time. so when i decided to join this week legit three days before it started, i was so unprepared and i wrote each fic in the wee hours of the morning and completely relied on the fact that my time zone is 12+ hours faster than most of y'all. you would've thought it would just give me more stress, and sure, it did mess up my sleep schedule, but i thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. i'd forgotten how amazing it feels to write all my feelings out, and how nice it is to finally have so personal time and write my heart out. i'd been procrastinating on writing a lot before this week, and y'all and your support throughout the week really helped me so much and brought back my passion for doing this. it made me remember why i started writing in the first place, and i had so much fun doing this, and i just- i can't thank you all enough, especially the ones who comment on every single one and showed me so much support all the way through (looking at you, @sunflower_8 @toxic) and the ones who don't actually read my work (lmao) until days later but give me so much inspiration (ahem Winter ahem), and most of all toxic and story for giving me this opportunity and all! i would dedicate this fic to y'all but ao3 dictates that i can only gift each fic to one person :((((( so consider this gifted to every single person who reads this, thank you sm, ily y'all
> 
> (wow that was long sorry)
> 
> anyways, i won't just stop writing or posting now that this is over, don't worry! i'm going to try my best and finish a momoharu fic i've been working on, and then there's this big project i've been writing for forever but got stuck on bc i don't know how to write kiyo in character (sighs) and i can't replace his character, and there are so many ideas i can' wait to bring to life so if you're into that then please, stick with me and stay tuned :DDD i promise i'll try my best to not let y'all down! thank you so much for reading and stay safe!
> 
> -arisa


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